You Control This World

My friend Osaka Dan asked me to perform with him again on New Year’s Eve 2016. I asked him to shave my head as part of the performance.

I’ve been tossing up the idea of shaving my head on and off for a while now. I’ve rocked a half shaved head for the last 5 or so years (a sidecut, to be a pedant), but I’ve always been kind of obsessed with the idea of just shaving all my hair off.

The hesitation I’ve had around doing it has primarily centered around how it will look afterwards; whether it will “suit” me, what “look” it gives me, how it will be received/interpreted by others. If I’m being brutally honest the concerns were primarily based in my own vanity. After a while the idea of looking ridiculous just no longer seemed like a good enough reason not to do it.

New Year’s Eve seemed like the perfect opportunity – a big step; a bold jump into the new year, learning to live for experiences and not for expectations of myself and from others.  I was about to move house, leave behind a business I helped create, say goodbye to an ex-lover who I’d continued living with post-breakup…it was a pretty emotional time for me, to say the least.

Three months on – and I’m finally uploading photos! – and I haven’t regretted the shave one little bit. I honestly thought there’d be days when I woke up and thought “What the hell have I done?” but they never came. It has been one of the most profoundly empowering things I’ve ever done for myself. I never would have thought I could feel and experience and learn so much from doing something so simple. It’s been incredible.

Anyway. Back to the performance:

Dan surprised me halfway through by cutting off “a year’s worth” of his beautiful long hair – I think it’s pretty obvious which shot captured the moment.

I will always be grateful for the time and care Dan gives me and the indulgence of allowing me to do what I love most. We used this soundbite from Sucker Punch alongside our purely Nine Inch Nails soundtrack. I thought it was pretty perfect.

“It’s like we talked about, you control this world.
Let the pain go, let the hurt go, let the guilt go.
What you are imagining right now, that world you control.
That place can be as real as any pain.”

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Rope: OsakaDan | Model: AmeKitsune |
Photos (hi-res): @dextakesphotos | Phone pics: Chloe Cunt Punch

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